When Will I just Love?

I work part-time at Lush in Cherry Creek Mall.  While closing up shop around 9 o’clock there are still shouts and giggles coming from the first floor.  If you gaze over the balcony you can see that there are children running around playing on the Looney Toons monuments made into slides and mini-mountains.  Around the outer edge of the play area there typically is a circle of women chatting away with one another.  They are beautiful women all wearing head coverings with long garments from head-to-toe.  I feel ashamed writing this now as I think about these women.  I have not stopped in all my life to question who they are and what they are like.  I have put up my own veil in my heart to even consider, humanistically, who these people are. Sadly, tragically, regretfully I know I am not alone. 

There has been a rift between Americans and the Islamic world—we know this and yet we just sit with it.  For 12 years we have allowed complacency to be our comfort rather than understanding that September 11^th was done by individuals with malice in their hearts.  I have been learning more about Islam and how varied it can be even among itself but at its core is peaceful—does this sound familiar to anyone?  Christians fight constantly over themselves about who has better doctrine, who has the appropriate liturgy, who is saved, who is going to hell, and who should lead.  I’m honestly so fatigued of it all.  My overarching question mostly for myself (but I encourage you to take it in your own hearts) is “When will I just love?”  It brings tears to my eyes right now realizing that I don’t love enough.  When I’ve looked over the balcony upon these women I have chosen to not break status quo but to stand upright and look the other way.

I guess it’s also important to understand the why behind the wearing of hijab (the head scarf), and even then it depends on the individual.  Motivation is at the heart of the garment—a choice to be modest for the religious devout and a political statement for those who are not.  If I were to compare this to something in more relatable terms in the U.S. it would be that of a demeanor.  We don’t wear an item that serves the same purpose, but we do however wear a “personality.” There is a lingo one can use which many refer to as “Christianese” and it embodies the values of a “good-Christian-woman” or a “Proverbs 31 woman.”  Christians use this language as an archetype to fit a standard, but often times it ends up being a wishy-washy-bleach-blond-middle-class-suburban-cookie-cutter person.  Many do this to fit in with the group, but many other embody these ideals because of a sincerity to be modest and pious.  If our motives are to project something that is not sincere then it is the same as lying.  Pause!—I’m trying to be communicative in my comparison and not be just a Christian-basher—so, please, do not misunderstand my words and then message me that I’m sinning in some way.  We should all be critical of that which is insincere in our culture because insincerity leads to a lot of misunderstanding and shame. 

Like the United States, Turkey has regions of higher conservativeness.  Istanbul, being the “New York” of Europe, is much more liberal in open-mindedness, whereas the rest of the country (to my understanding from books and scholars I’ve been lectured by) increases in conservativeness from west to east.  I have sensed a difference between Ankara and Konya in contrast with Istanbul.  The women wear hijab in the two former much more than the latter.  Many of these women will wear these scarves because the current Prime Minister has been suggesting it.  He is associated with a conservative political party and in comparison to the U.S. it would be like how George Bush had the support of the “religious right” which is a group of people that support school prayer and federal funding for religious groups.  His policies are motivated by his faith, but also by his ego (and more than likely his corruption).  The wealthy businessmen who benefit from his policies and legislation have been showing political alignment by having their wives and daughters wear hijab.  All the while they are sporting midriff shirts with low-cut skinny jeans (the wives and daughters, not the businessmen—well, maybe SOME businessmen).  This has become contentious among groups in Turkey—and given the recent protests we can see that there is a lot of opinion about who Turkey is and isn’t. 

Now, coming back to my own sight—I’ve never been in a predominantly Muslim country before, and many of you who are reading this may relate perfectly.  The past 3 weeks have changed my perspective.  My own veil is coming down and my complacency is beginning to diminish toward viewing these people as something “foreign.”  They are hearts embodied.  I am a heart embodied.  You are a heart embodied.  If we choose to continue to stand behind our own veils of American flags and “We will never forget”-s then we are choosing to be less than human.  What makes us so distinct among creatures is our ability to love and reason.  Without a healthy combination of both, we simply won’t understand each other.  I’m looking forward to having conversations with my own students about things which make us feel uncomfortable and challenging them to push into it a little more.  I’m pushing into my own discomfort and I leave you with the question again, “When will I just love?”